Saturday, December 03, 2005

Boycott Helping Investigation


"The boycott of Aruba is reducing the number of tourists and helping the investigation." So says Jess Assker from AHTA

"With less tourists on the island, we have seen a dramatic decrease in crime. This allows the police force to focus more resources on the Natalee Holloway investigation."

Jeff Assker says hotel towel theft has decreased by almost 45%. "The Aruban police force is world class when it comes to investigating this type of crime." The Chief Proseuctor Karin Janssen responded by saying, "with less missing towel cases I can devote a few more minutes a month to the Natalee Holloway case."

Karin Janssen, recently named "Woman of the Year" by a local newspaper for successfully providing cover to the police and Paulus van der sloot in her efforts in keeping 2 innocent black security guards in jail for 10 days is considered an innovator in the field of bi-legal law enforcement.

In her book "My Vagina" Ms. Janssen says, "sometimes having the title of Prosecutor allows me to act as a Public Defender when it is in the interests of a Dutch national and friend."

Ruben Trapenburg has confirmed the boycott's aid in theft. "I'm seeing less and less hotel towels being found in departing tourists luggage and this is making life much easier for airport workers."

Chief Commissioner Dompig was asked if the number of crimes has decreased. "I have no comment." The Chief was busy trying to reach Paulus van der sloot to get permission to wipe his ass.

Arlene Schippers, still searching for the tape of Beth Holloway meeting with Karin Janssen said, "there is no proof of anything other than it's a pleasure to have met with the investigators who are working around the clock and everything is going according to Paulus, I mean Dutch Law."

Ms. Shippers was asked if she knew that the now lawyer for Paulus van der sloot visited Joran van der sloot in jail and how it was permitted before he was named as anyone's attorney?

She said, "She didn't. You wouldn't believe how simple it was."